A thrilling decision by the government

I am blessed to be a government servant. I was thrilled when I heard that all of us will have the incredible increase in our salary commencing in July this year. It's not very often that we could get to that point in any discussion between Cuepacs and the government. Good job Cuepacs.

However, in my contentment of pleasure, I am still afraid of the impact of this decision. The salary increment is just for the 1.02 million government servants, while the other 23 milions of workers will just have to bear the grudge. Hopefully the price of goods in the markets will not follow the same pattern as the salary. If not, the private workers will have a rage.

There were times when everybody doesn't fancy to be a government servant because of the low paycheck. Now everybody is racing to get hold of the SPA8 examination forms in order to secure a job in the government offices. It's not that I am not thankful with the increment, but as an inside person, I know how government servants do their jobs. They are of course not the most dilligent workers on earth, not even close. I hope with this increment, they will double up, or even tripple up their effort to serve the people of Malaysia better. As for me, I will still do what I usually do, serve the nation by moulding up our national assets...the university students.

In order to make all the people of Malaysia happy, I hope the private sectors will also take the same step and give appropriate salary increment to their workers. Let's just make it equal for everybody and continue having a peaceful life in our country.

The colours of your friends

I received a call from one of my good friends last night. It has been a while since we last had a conversation through the phone. Both of us are kinda busy managing our own lives and trying our best to excell in our career. It was such a pleasant surprise and we talked for quite a tremendous amount of time, trying to catch up on what's happening in each other's life. She seems to notice that I have not posted to this blog for quite some time already, that's why the call.

At times, I do miss my life and my friends when I was single. I had a wonderful time back then, together with my friends in England. How I wish that we can have a gathering and meet, talk and have fun together, regardless of our status.

I learnt a lot from my friends. All of them have their own colours. Each colour have their own meaning. Each colour have their own admirer. But of course you cannot satisfy everyone. No matter how hard you try, there will be people around you who can't accept what you do. So, don't worry, just be yourself and let them choose what colour they like.

It's time to bring your memeories back. Remember all your friends. Maybe me and my husband should held a gathering at our house. One of these days I will have to contact all of them and drag them to JB. Have a holiday here in JB and leave your hectic lives in KL for a while guys.....

Adiossss....

A whole new world

I have tonnes and tonnes of pending job-to-be-done now that I have just joint an environmental consultancy group here in my faculty. Currently, I'm suppose to handle the editting part of an Environmental Impact Assessment (EIA) report on a development of a thermal treatment plant in Kamunting, Perak, which is already at its final stage. Of course I am suppose to be packed with my Phd activity but I couldn't resist the offer from the consultant group leader. People say 'when opportunity knocks, the least you can do is open your door'. Well that's more or less what I am trying to do.

My phd seems to move in a very slow pace nowadays but of course the last thing I would do is to neglect it, although they're quite a handful to juggle. I have to really restrict myself and manage my time in the office carefully and the victim might be this blog. I may not have much time updating it but I'll try my best to still do whenever I am able to.

Next monday, we will be having a meeting with our next client, TNB, who's planning to develop a hydroelectric plant in Ulu Jelai, Cameron Highlands. This particular EIA will cost me a headache and a tremendous time to be spent and it's just kicking off (Terms of Reference approval) at this particular meeting I am attending in KL. I think I'll be incharged of it's project description and editting the whole report as well as the excecutive summary. I am more than excited to be able to join this group but I know I have to work like a horse to meet deadlines as we are dealing with gigantic corporate clients. Hopefully this will be a wonderful and fruitful experience for me as consultation will be a very important criteria in applying for a promotion in my university.

It's a whole new experience for me and hopefully I am now heading towards the right direction on my way of climbing the career ladder in the university. Wish me luck.

Tax time..

It's April again and all of us, the human resources of Malaysia has to go through the mental exhausting task of filling up our tax form. This is a task that I have to carry out every year, mine and my husband's. He's never bothered about it and always says that he trusted me for this excruciating task that he doesn't want to do. How clever huh...

This year, I opt for e-filing. Instead of filling up the BE form in hard copies, I'm filling it up online. Hopefully this method would be easier than the previous manual hard copy tax calculation and the application can do an automatic calculation instead of us punching on the calculator. I haven't completed it yet so I wouldn't know how efficient the system is. Fingers crossed.

What a day..

Before we knew it, it has already been nearly a year that bibik (my maid) came into Malaysia and work for us (she’s an Indonesian). It was a blessing to have her around. She’s genuinely very loving towards my kids and my kids adore her. Maybe there are some chores that she can’t do perfectly here and there, but I believe we have to be grateful to have someone that really loves our kids working for us. Maybe God was testing us when He fated that we have to go through an excruciating agony to find one good maid. We’ve tried 10 maids before her and all of them had their own issues. This post would be way too long if I want to cover all those issues.

So today I have to go to Fomema in order to carry out bibik’s medical check up to renew her work permit. I wish I can go with my husband, but you know, he’s always busy. It seems so hard nowadays for him to get off once in a while to cater to my needs, especially during weekdays. But it’s okay. I think I have to understand his job and his strict boss, and also thankful for the time he always spends with us during the weekends. I enjoyed the movie you took me to last weekend, dear.

Anyway, luck was not on my side when there were a series of mishaps occurred to me today on the way to Fomema. It begins with my bad luck at the ATM machine for the cash I need to make a money order to pay for it. Out of all the four ATM machines available, only one was working and the lines was unacceptably long. I have to go to another bank but that ATM machine won’t accept my bankcard. What a bummer!! I had to take some of my savings from another account then. I was lucky that nothing really cause a delay in making the money order I needed though.

I asked my friend N to accompany me there so we have to send her girl to the nursery first. Driving a car that’s not really my car is something that I don’t really like to do though. The workshop where our Kancil is in lends me a Satria. I should be happy but the Satria is too lowered that it gives me trouble at bumpers and hill. The road to the nursery is quite hilly so I ran into a curb at one of its corner because I can’t really see the curb while climbing and cornering. Ahh…I wonder why do they have to cut the spring shorter had it lowered. Despite the stability, it’s a nuisance going on bumpers and rocky roads.

The car felt really funny but we just ignored it, thinking that the lowered thing makes it feel that way. All the roads felt really bumpy and it made funny sounds. We kept ignoring it until a guy in a lorry point a finger to my back right tyre and said that it’s flat. Alamak..why does it has to happen to me!! We had to drive quite a few kilometres until we reach a petrol station to find help (it smells funny already because of the friction of the flat tyre rubber with the road – hangit). I’ve never changed a tyre a before and I can try but we don’t have a jack in the car. The petrol station also didn’t have one. Suddenly a Bread Truck stopped and offered us to use theirs but it can’t fit under it because the car is too low. Damn it, again I wonder why do they want to have it lowered. There was no solution and I have to hurry before Fomema closes down and I have no choice but to drive to the nearest workshop in a flat-tyred car. It’s not something I was very happy to do but I had to. Luckily it was not that far and they changed it just in a matter of minutes. And it cost me just a few ringgit for the trouble, RM5 actually.

So off we go..hoping that no trouble will be on our way anymore and we reached there safely. I was elated to find out that the process at Fomema took me not more that half an hour. We drove back and not far from out office gate, while we chat, a car simply crossed the road (at a crossing) just inches in front of my car and I have to sway my car to the left to avoid us from crashing into it. The weird thing is the lady driving the car doesn’t even realise that she has done a stupid move and nearly cost us our lives. I was thankful that I managed to avoid the collision even if my tyres were already screeching in order to make us stop. It was scary. Anyway, we reached our office safely and I’m thankful that I’m okay and my friend is okay and we are still alive and kicking, breathing the air. What a day….

A glimpse of Oprah

Today I had lunch with my close friend in the office at her home. She said she cooked 'sambal sotong' (squid) last night and she has plenty of leftover. She also said she cooked good 'sambal sotong' and I decided to give it try.

While waiting for the rice to cook, I watched the TV while crunching on some of her biscuits to shut my tummy from announcing to the world that it's empty. There was nothing really interesting on except for Diari Akademi Fantasia (one of the hottest reality shows in Malaysia) with some coverage on what the students do during their classes. It was a bit boring and I didn't really watch it. Before I knew it, the rice was ready and lunch was on the way with some pan fried vegetables and an ommelete. It was nice, thanks to my friend, N.

It was already half past 1 and N has to get her daughter ready for nursery. She hace to race against time for she has to attend the department meeting at 2.30. While waiting for her to give the little girl a quick bath and for herself to perform her Zuhur prayer (I am temporarily unable to), I once again turned to the TV set for some entertainment. After browsing on every channel available, I finally came to channel 70 (Star World) and I was elated to see Oprah Winfrey on her show. It was already halfway through but can still serve the purpose of feeding me with information and entainment.

In the show, there was a pretty faced man, quite handsome and not ugly at all. The weird thing is, whenever he looked into the mirror, he cannot help but think that he's an ugly monster. I personally think he's handsome. Who wouldn't if he is this tall guy with quite an attractive built plus straight silky smooth hair (a little less than shoulder length).

Apparently, he has a mental/psikology problem called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. According to the doctor, Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder, which involves a disturbed body image. It is generally diagnosed in those who are extremely critical of their physique or self image, despite the fact there may be no noticeable disfigurement or defect.

It was sad seeing this guy trying to cope with his disorder and the world and it was heartbreaking to see his family struggle with him to make the world understands. He's lucky because he has such a supportive family.

Another case of BDD shown today was a lady addicted to plastic surgery. She was a beautiful young girl at the age of 28. Unfortunately, the surgeries she put herself through in the end make her look like a monster. She looks like a distorted, mutated Pamela Anderson with lips that is noticeable from a mile. That's how bad she looks. I pity her for doing this to herself and I pity her for not seeking help while she can. Like Oprah, I also curse the doctor who performed the surgeries for not telling her really that she has a disorder that she has to take care off. It's sad that somethimes money is more important to the doctors than their etiquette.

This is new to me. I've never heard of such a disorder before and that's why I like to watch Oprah. Despite of the entertainment she provides with all her glamorous hot shot celebrities and the makeover shows that she loves to do, she does care for her country and the world in her own way. She likes to highlight issues that is sometimes totally remote to most of us and alerted the whole nation.

Before I can finish my Oprah, N was ready to go out and I have to be pulled way from the TV. We have to hurry to make it on time back to our office. Bye bye Oprah....

It has been a long time...

It seems like I have abandoned this blog isn't it. No...I would never do that. It has been quite a long time since I last posted anything here. . I was just busy attending to my daily job and settling problems rooted from my husband's accident. All his documents has to be replaced and we have to find another car for him to commute to his workplace. Luckily the workshop that's repairing the car lend us a Satria to be used temporarily. So that problem solved.

Anyway, I have promised to share the picture of the accident, haven't I? We got it already and they can be seen in my husband's blog. It is all there.

A terrible tragedy

Last wednesday, I was cooking for my dear hubby that requested me to cook chicken rice. In the middle of getting the soup ready, at 5.20pm I received a phone call from a number that is not at all familiar. The voice on the other end was familiar though, it was my husband..... calling for help!! He was in a terrible car accident, and he said his car is in a river somewhere in Senai. His mobile phone and all his possessions that is always in the car were washed away by the current or still in the car if his lucky. I was teribbly shocked and paralysed for a few seconds and then it occured to me that he must be alright because he's the one who made the call with someone else's phone.

I rushed to the accident site which took me more than an hour because of the heavy traffic at peak time (end of office hours) and it was raining so damn heavy. I was in tears fearing for my husband's condition. What worried me was how he is doing. He might be able to call me even if he's injured. Maybe he was just trying to comfort me by saying that he's alright. I cursed the traffics and pardon me for that. Upon arriving to the site, I saw my husband who was soaking wet and rushed to him. I inspected his body and there is not even a single drop of blood. That made me feel a little bit easier but still I was worried. Maybe the injuries are internal. I wanted to bring him to the hospital but he refused. He took me to the river bank and I can see his car crushed in between a tree and a pile of big rocks.

He was damn lucky...I could have lost him if he's not. I believe God watched over him. His car could have smashed on top of the rocks with the wheels upside down and that's it. It fears me seeing the condition of the car.

Apparently, a puddle of water from the heavy rain forced my husband to slow down his car. A blue van which was in quite an unacceptable speed during a rainy day crashed into the back of his car which skidded his car onto the grass beside the road. Once on the grass, the car was totally uncontrollable and he crashed into the river far aside the road. He skidded for nearly 100m because of the high speed of the van crashing into him before he toppled into the river. The river banks was so steep and high (approximately 5-7m high) and made him topple twice or three times. His head bumped into something and left bruises on both side of his forehead. Once landed, water rushed into the car and he had to get out as soon as he can, he left all his belonging in there. Luckily the river was not too deep to cover the top of the car, the current was fast enough to take the car with it but luckily it was in between the tree and the rocks. Other than the bruises on the forehead, he's alright, thank God, Alhamdulillah.

It took the crane about one hour to get the car out of the river because of the steep riverbank. I didn't bring our camera to the scene so I can't put the pictures of in this post. I was rushing, who can think of getting the camera after receiving such a bad news. Spectators of the scene kept increasing and luckily the guy who's supposed to handle the case braught a camera. So I'll attach the pictures in the future.

So, that was the story. I almost lost him that day. How grateful I am that he's alright and came out of it without even a scratch. These past two days he is still exhausted from the ordeal and busy with replacing all his identity documents including his I/C, driving licence, bank cards and credit cards. He's so tired and could not write any post in his blogs. I will link all his blogs to this post so that the readers are not wondering why there is no new posts in there. So guys, that's the story.

Books that inspire me

How I wish I have the time to read my favourite author's book nowadays. It seems like the time is running too fast and I can’t catch up anymore. My days are hectic with the research work at the office and my evenings are spent with my husband and kids. There are tonnes and tonnes of chores to be done eventhough bibik is always there to help. I made sure that my own responsibilities should still be carried out by myself. Cooking for instance has never been appointed to be done by bibik. My husband has never even taste a sip of drink made by her. She just takes care of the kids and the house when I’m not around, and do the basic cleaning, laundry and tidying up.

By the time I went to bed, I was exhausted hoping that my three little rascals are tired enough to go straight to bed. There is no more energy to be drained out of me, what more to relish a book I truly love.

There seems to be a pattern in the type of books I like with the progression of my age. In high school, I used to love reading Judith McNaught’s romance novels. My first was Whitney, My Love. I was fully indulged in reading the novel, my friends have to pull it away from me to have me go with them to the dining hall come lunch or dinner time. Her language is always as beautiful as it can be and I can’t help but imagine all the people and places she describes in her writings. The characters are always so unique and appealing and most of the settings are always in the past Victorian ages when the cultures are so different from today. I hopped from one after another, books to books of hers including Once and Always, Something Wonderful, A Kingdom of Dreams and Until You. Unfortunately, I don’t get to read them anymore after I finished my highschool for all the novels I’ve read were not mine. They were my friends’, I didn’t have the luxury of buying even food that I like at that time, what more buying novels.

When I go to college, I found another alternative to cater my love of novels, the library. Unfortunately, schools do not provide Judith Mcnaught’s romance novels on the shelves. Then I introduced myself to Danielle Steel. The first that I read was titled “Star”, a love story between a Hollywood singer and a lawyer. I like her writing style but after sometimes in can be monotanous. That’s the only book from her that I truly love anyway. I tried to read Jewels but I’ve never finished it. I don’t read Danielle Steel anymore.

My all time favourite author is Sydney Sheldon. I don’t even remember how I got to read my first Sydney Sheldon’s work but I do remember which one, ‘If Tomorrow Comes’. It was about a woman prisoner who can’t wait to get out to take a revenge on the killer of her family and she managed to do in an appealingly shrewd way. I got to learn of how the prison system is and the life of a prisoner. After that introduction to Sheldon, I can’t wait to finish all the book written by him.

Sydney Sheldon’s books were always articulately and lucratively written and most of the main characters are women (at least the ones that I’ve read). His way of picturing and describing people, places and events are so vivid, we can imagine ourselves being there. I love the twists, the mysteries and the stories. The list of Sydney Sheldon’s books that I have read so far is:

The Best Laid Plans
Nothing Lasts Forever
The Stars Shine Down
The Doomsday Conspiracy
Memories of Midnight
The Sands of Time
Windmills of the Gods
If Tomorrow Comes
Master of the Game
Rage of Angels
A Stranger in the Mirror
The Other Side of Midnight.

I learnt a lot from Sydney Sheldon, from the prison system, doctors life, diamond pursuer, a nun, a builder, a senator to the alien conspiracy among all. My Favourite Sydney Sheldon's though is The Stars Shine Down. The name of the main character, Lara Cameron, still linger in my mind till today and I always dream to be like her. One day I might get the chance to build my own building like her

**I also like a Jefry Archer's "As The Crow Flies'. What about you guys out there? Care to share?

Home sweet home...

Today I'm home. Fuuhh...after the long hard work and full of tragedy yesterday. I love being at home...entertaining my kids especially. Although they are quite a handful most of the times, that does not lure me away. My son Ikhwan couldn't have enough of teasing his younger sisters. It seems like Marsya, my 2nd child, will cry every 2 minutes in interval. He can always find something to annoy her, taking her bicycle, fighting for the same toy or as simple as poking her nose. I am beginning to think that Marsya's crying is like music to Ikhwan's ear.

The house especially the living room will suffer a disastrous look when they are playing. That's the fate of a home full of kids. I have quite a handful...1 boy and 2 girls to wreck the house. The pictures I attached in here is my living room and my kitchen (taken in May 2006). There is quite a lot of change to it now. I love decorating it..but still want it to be as simple and peaceful as possible. I can't wait for an extra money to come. I can't wait to spend it on some decorating stuffs for the house. I haven't even finish decorating my son's room. He has to move out of our master bedroom very near in the future anyway. He couldn't be sleeping with us anymore at the age of 6. We have to slowly coach him to sleep alone. He's such a fearful kid. He fears everything....

My bedroom also needs a little touch up. Can't wait to make it look like one of the hotel rooms that used to inspire me. There is a long list of what to buy to make it a dreamy kind of a bedroom. I know what to do and how to do it...the problem is...u know what. I'm waiting for the pot of money at the rainbow feet I guess. Can't do anything without IT....

Scarryyyy...

The scariest thing happened to me today. Although I usually hit the road to my office early in the morning everyday, this week I didn't. Not until 1pm because my husband is home out of the late shift he's working this week. I can't bear seeing him goes to work with an empty belly at lunch time. Cooking for him is never a hassle to me anyway, but most of all I love he's company at home. It's not everyday that he's got the time to do that, he's even working this weekend.

I've got tonnes of work to do at the office, of course with my unfinished business - the proposal. I'm a last minute person. I love the adrenaline rush to beat the deadline (today) and to prove last minute action can't do you any harm. So today, I went out earlier, in I go to my four wheel partner heading to the office leaving my husband who's still in a peaceful deep sleep (with his permission of course).

So there I sat on my blue chair made more comfy by two lovely pillows. It was 10am and I've loads to do. I can hardly tip my head to see who's passing through. I don't even open my door to make that possible. Indulged in my little contribution to the country, my eyes was never off the monitor screen and my hands keep typing the yet still missing contents. Come lunch time, although my belly was growling for food, I couldn't even afford a leisure lunch with my officemate, Nura. There goes my long Friday lunch hours which I always find useful to entertain myself in JUSCO. I just can't. This unfinished business has got to go. Please don't haunt my life anymore. Don't be the nightmare disturbing my sleep any longer.

It's been approximately one month that I have lived without a thumbdrive. Somehow no computer can register it when it's poked into the USB drive. Darn..there goes my RM300 worth of thumbdrive (thank god it's cheaper now...RM50 for a 1G). So I've been saving my work on whichever computer I used and keep attaching it to my own emails so I can access it everywhere I go. Little that I know, it will stay in the 'Temp' folder if I keep pressing the 'save' button. It's like hanging somewhere temporarily hoping that the user will save it somewhere permanently. Well, it doesn't occur to me today for I'm too busy chasing and running trying to hit the red ribbon at the finishing line. I kept pressing the 'save' button, not 'save as' as I should.

It was nearly 6.30pm, my back was hurting, I felt like it was going to snap into two. I haven't perform my Asar prayer yet hoping I could get home in time before maghrib. I was ready to go home, and emailed myself with the attachment as usual. Out of my anxiety over something that could happen to a last minute person like me, I opened my email to check if the attachment is indeed attached right. And.........AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. It was not there. What was there is the proposal that I saved yesterday. Today's work have not been saved. I was about to cry and I panicked. I screamed silently coz it seems to be too crazy to scream on top of my lungs in an empty office. The jinx!!!! Call me superstitious but I am sometimes. What will I hand in this monday (the deadline has been postponed to monday anyway)? A call to my husband might help, emotionally if not technically. When he picked up and listen to my little jinxy tragedy, the first thing he asked, is whether or not I have performed my Asar prayer. A sense of guilt wash over me, I knew it. What comes around do comes around. My indulgence to work has made me put Allah in a second place, which I shouldn't do. He's advice was simple, go take your obulation and pray...and indeed pray. I was in tears....this is a matter of passing my PhD or not. This is my punishment.....

In tears I walked shivering with the thoughts of having to compose everything back. I'm doomed. I prayed, and I prayed for him to give me the strengths to do it all over again. And there I was again, sitting at the blue chair, which do not look any appealing anymore. I might have to spend my night in this alienated office to finish THE proposal. And then it occurred to me...I know I've saved the document, although my husband says I have a habit of not saving my work regularly. I know I did...it's impossible that I don't. As I opened the old document I saved yesterday, I was ready to 'save as' it to avoid the same thing...hopefully the lightning does not strike twice. I don't even know if I can recall all the infos and facts I've included earlier, what more with the torturing formatting and editing work. And there it was...my PROPOSAL!!!.. in the TEMP folder. How do I get to it? Searching using the 'search' facility did not work. I tried and tried, marking which folder it's in and when I open it through 'My Computer', the TEMP folder doesn't even exists. Calling my husband do not help anymore, what can he do 50miles away from me? I press every button and link I know, I was about to give up but I refuse to do so...now that I know it's in there. There must be a way I clicked and I searched....and then pop....my PROPOSAL out there on the screen. I don't what I did right...but it does bring the document out. I was blessed. The praying works...Allah still give me chance. It was a lesson to me. And please make it a lesson to you too..

Remember guys....do not procrastinate. Do you have a little something in your bag that needs finishing? Go to it..deal with it. Don't wait till the last minute.

Wrapped up

Today is a public holiday in my country. It's Chinese New Year and everybody should be on leave until tomorrow. As for me and my husband, we do not get that luxury. We are too wrapped up in our career until we don't have the chance to have a break. My husband is this busy engineer in a palm oil processing company and it turns out that the country is running out of palm oil. The management do not plan to just have days without operation so they decided to have a plant shutdown and nobody is allowed to take leaves except for the chinese. Nope, shutdown does not mean them closing down the plant, it's shutting down all the unit operations and time for cleaning and maintainance. He's lucky because I am also from chemical engineering background and I can understand how busy they are when it's shutdown time. If not, I'll be the sulking wife longing to be in her hometown enjoying her favourite dishes made by her mom. But what can I say...He's even still at work now, will be back by midnight. Don't forget to have your dinner honey. Don't worry about me and the kids. I believe we'll still be wide awake when you arrive in a little while so you wouldn't miss us...

Me? I have to finish my PhD proposal for my first stage examination. It's not somebody else's fault that it is still an unfinished business. I went to my office today, but just for a few hours. Just to make myself feel less guilty though. But surprisingly I worked a little harder when nobody else is around the office. The ideas came pouring like an unstoppable rain and I'm glad. I looked at my watch and it was already 6pm. Gotta go home to my kids....

Living our life as working parents do not makes us forget of who we are. We are earning a living for you guys kids and of course we won't forget you little rascals at home....

What a song could bring….

A few days ago I discovered a website called youtube.com by coincidence. I was browsing through the internet reading gossips on Malaysian artistes and one of the links brought me there. Ahhh…my Mariah Carey’s all time favourite, my Bryan Adams’ and my Jon Bon Jovi’s. They used to be able to make my day during my schooling years. Brought back all the memories, bitter and sweet ones. Best of all, I found my When You Say Nothing At All from Ronan Keating. That’s our song…me and my husband. We fall in love around the time Notting Hill was released. It brought me back to England where I think I spent the best time of my life. I miss the ambience, the culture and the people. I miss the weather although sometimes it can be cruel. It always rained in England but not as heavy as the rain we get here. It was just drizzles that don’t even make us keep an umbrella when we go out. The coat is enough to shield us even if we had to walk from the univ to and from our house everyday. It’s not a big deal to walk to get us places. We walk miles everyday….no wonder I was as slim as I could be in those years. Aghh..it’s so hard to get back that slim figure I used to have, not after having my three beautiful children. But it’s not something that I feel sorry about, it’s worth it. Quite an excellent bargain, ain’t it. Not to say that I’m a fat cow now, just a few little pounds over my weight as anak dara…hehehe. Hopefully it’s not there to stay.

Anyway, as I surf through the site I found another favourite song of mine..All My Life from Kc and Jojo. I drifted through the songs with my eyes closed. It’s a beautiful song...really. As I went through the websites, I glanced through my playlist and all of them are romantic love song. Hahaha.

I have my own philosophy when it comes to songs. The kind of songs you love will reflect what kind of a person you are. Romantic love songs will picture you as someone who’s in love, happily married or soon to be married. There are just you and your partner in your romantic world..everybody else seems to vanish. Love is in the air….

Sad and depressing songs are always favored by sad and depressed people. A close friend of mine loves this kind of songs. It’s not a coincidence that she is always unlucky in love. Sometimes I feel guilty to have all the happiness while she is always gloomy and miserable when it comes to love. My friend (you know who you are) I pray for your happiness. May God grant all your wish…

As for rock and pop, I don’t quite give it a thought yet. I hope I’ll develop some insights on it sometime in the future….

Attitude

It's already wednesday. Another two days and we'll hit another friday. The time goes too fast. What is my achievement this week? I think I haven't even put the first gear on as far as my PhD is concerned. I have to submit my PhD report on the 23rd of February and it has been two weeks since I last touched it. The existing 63 pages report is there to stay without an increment in content.

It is so hard to get back the momentum. Before my son was admitted to the hospital last two weeks, I was so fired up (He was diagnosed with bronchitis, somekind of a lung infection. He had been coughing all the time until he couldn't even breath). I found it very easy to come to the office and concentrate writing in it. The pages increased from 20++ to the 63 pages that seems to hit a plateu progression. There are still many jurnal papers that I have to read and to be reviewed in my report. Yes I love to read...but not academic writing. It's giving me headache, reading without having the opportunity to relax my mind. My braincells have to walk an extra mile while reading these past research papers. And that's what making me sooooo not ready to go back to reading them. Ikhwan's admission to the hospital has given me an inofficial leave for a few days. And I'm giving myself a longer holiday after that....

I don't like it when I'm in this mode. This attitude has got to go. I am very aware of that but God knows how difficult it is. It has always been this difficult even when I was in school. I was not the type of student that will study for all the exams. I don't study..I just don't. Sometimes I myself wonder how did I do that? I didn't open the text book or I did open it, but just to check up the content wether I had cover it or am I well knowledged on the content or not. I've never done any exercises before exams, I hardly do my homeworks. So past year questions or not is not my concern. I did this not simply because I am merely a lazy person when it comes to studying but because I know what I know. In class, everybody around me does not exist anymore except for the teacher. My eyes and ears were opened and my brain is ready to absorb what ever being teached that day. Full concentration....If I study, I felt like all this information that has been kept there during the class will drain out just like a watergauge being opened.

But PhD is a different case. I do not have classes. I don't have written exams. I have to do research. My research now is on wastewater treatment through freezing. It's a chemical engineering research. I am nearly half way in it, so I have to present my work in this First Stage Examination early next month. The exam is an oral one. So this does not depend on how well I concentrate in class because I don't even have classes.

Aaaaaagghhhhh....God.. please bring me out of this mode.

Hopefully after I have finished writing this post, my writing mood will come back and the number 63 will be nothing but a history.

Recipe of Love..

Love is a beautiful feeling. When you find love, you'll want nothing more. It fills you up until you can't think what more you want. Even if you don't have everything material wise, life is not about getting all that you want.

I think I've found my true love. He might not be the most perfect flawless man, but he's enough for me. That's what love is. In my apparition love is accepting with all your heart what your other half is like. There might be something he/she is not good at. You should complete each other. That's what my husband always said to me....YOU COMPLETE ME.


My husband does not have all the time in the world. He's a very busy man. He goes to work at 7am every morning, battling with the traffic jam on his way from our house in Bandar Pulai Jaya to Pasir Gudang which will take him an hour if his lucky. If not he will be drowned in a current of vehicles heading the same way as he is, taking him more than that. He normally gets home when the sun has already set and the moon peaked to give a little light to shine the night. He will find the best way to get home at 7.30pm to catch his Sportcentre Live Broadcast. I can't even watch my Identiti slot on TV3. Hey..we have another TV in our bedroom, but what's the fun of watching it alone. I'd rather watch Sportcentre with him. The dinner should have always be ready before he gets home. It's not difficult to cater to my husband's appetite. He's quite western food wise. Never asked for asam pedas or sambal belacan. His favourites are fried chicken, chicken curry (not so western aye), chicken rice, chicken with soybean sauce, chicken paprik, chicken chop, and all chicken dishes that I can cook him. Yes..he's a chicken lover. Never did like fish so much but I'm injecting it little by little through his dinner. Now he eats few fish dishes and oldfolks vegetables like kangkung and sawi, but his favourite is panfried cabbage. He can eat cabagge everyday!!. His another never-get-bored-with food is potato salad. It's very easy to be prepared. Here's the recipe...

Potato Salad

Ingredients:
6 Big Potatos
2 Chicken breast
4tbl sp Mayonaise
Salt as you like

Directions:
Peel the potatoes and chop it to cube size of 2cmx2cm.
Slice the chicken to smaller cube size.
Boil the chicken and the potatoes in a pot with some salt added.
Once cooked, drain the water and put in the mayonaise.
Mix it well and serve hot or cold.

HAPPY COOKING WITH LOVE......

Dream...

I had the strangest dream last night. Never had a dream quite like that since I've been married. It was a dream about me and my dearest hubby. I have the best husband in the world. I always call him a rare species of men, even most of my married friends agree. He's the most loving, caring and understanding person I've ever met, a gentleman, which trait I've always admire since the days he tried to be close to me during our time in England, the handsomest guy in my eyes..hehehe. He cannot stand seeing me sad or in trouble or through difficult times. He even shared the morning sickness when I was pregnant, he's the one that would be in a bad mood if it's nearing my time of the month (you know what), we even share the telephatic wave of what to eat for lunch or dinner. Maybe it's true that we are a match made in heaven. I'm thankful and contented, there's nothing more I could dare bring myself to ask...

Anyway, back to my strange dream last night, I don't even recognise the place. It was an island, connected to the mainland by a swaying bridge. I don't even know which island in Malaysia this is, or is it not in Malaysia? I don't know. My dreams are always like that...strange details. I can still remember the clear and blue water of the ocean and I can still hear the waves smashing the beach. Zaki and I were crossing the bridge and we reached the island and went to a house. Of course I don't know who's house it is..it was an alien place to me. There we met a family, a pair of parents with a daughter. I cannot remember the face, I don't think she has a face. Anyway, in a second, zaki has already married this girl!! I don't know how this happened, knowing him I don't think he has the heart to do that to me. He was so different, he was not like what I described to be somewhere up there in this post. It's like it's a different man wearing zaki's face. A mean person who doesn't care how I feel. I cried and I cried...maybe I really cried. I always do that, it's not a rare occasion that I scream, I talk and I cry in my sleep. Zaki was always there to comfort me when I do that, snapped me back to reality. My sweet and lovely reality..not like in the dream.

But this time, zaki was quite a distance from me. He had to comfort our second little girl who was crying for milk. It was so hard for me to get back to my real life..the dream was like a reality to me. I panicked, I screamed and I mumbled words that I don't even remember now. With all my strength I tried to open my eyes because I know, this must be dream. My zaki won't do this to me, he's the sweetest guy on earth. I can't...I tried again. I tried and I tried..it was tiring..I was drained. I was beginning to accept it as a reality that I have to face. But no, I don't want to accept it. I had to give it a last try, with all my might. And finally I did...I came back to reality. There was zaki, his eyes shut in a peaceful sleep. I touched his cheek, he opened his eyes asking me what's wrong. I told him about the dream...or maybe we can call it a nightmare. He said no..I will never do that to you. I love you..you are the love of my life, go back to sleep dearie. I looked at the clock..it was half past five in the morning. It was a long dream...

Today I woke up thinking about the dream, wondering what brings myself to have such a dream. It's true that we can't control our dreams but sometimes the dreams somehow relate to our real life. Maybe I am afraid that something like that would happened to me..touch wood..God forbid. I'm back to my sweet normal life. I'm in my oficce...back to my PhD work...there are loads to do. I have a deadline to meet..my presentation is nearing.

Introducing....

Today marked the birth of this blog, dedicated to zaki and zura's family. This blog will be maintained by me, zura and will be full of stories of our ups and downs. The wonderfull and happy moments are priceless, unforgettable and I wouldn't exchange with anything, even if 1million Malaysian ringgit is offered to me. The sad and difficult times come and go (luckily not too often), but we stood tall hanging on with every bit of strength we have as a family. I love my family, it is like a childhood dream comes to live. I'm thankful to have such a family like mine now...it's too good to be true. I wouldn't ask for more, Alhamdulillah....

Zaki and I got married in 2002...after about one year of courting that is...hehehe. It was a long story of how we got to be married to each other. Long story cut short, we met in the university where we sweat to get hold of our chemical engineering degree but it's not that straight forward. Nope..we were not officially in love while we were in England even if both of us have been to the city of love, Paris. Yes it is a long story, maybe I'll give out the whole story in one of the posts later.

We've spent wonderful moments together though. The family members keep increasing year by year...hahaha. The children are our gems, each has their own shape and colour. They are the living proof af the love that we cherish. Ikhwan Firdaus, Marsya Syazweena and Alya Humaira..you guys are the love of my life.