Dream...

I had the strangest dream last night. Never had a dream quite like that since I've been married. It was a dream about me and my dearest hubby. I have the best husband in the world. I always call him a rare species of men, even most of my married friends agree. He's the most loving, caring and understanding person I've ever met, a gentleman, which trait I've always admire since the days he tried to be close to me during our time in England, the handsomest guy in my eyes..hehehe. He cannot stand seeing me sad or in trouble or through difficult times. He even shared the morning sickness when I was pregnant, he's the one that would be in a bad mood if it's nearing my time of the month (you know what), we even share the telephatic wave of what to eat for lunch or dinner. Maybe it's true that we are a match made in heaven. I'm thankful and contented, there's nothing more I could dare bring myself to ask...

Anyway, back to my strange dream last night, I don't even recognise the place. It was an island, connected to the mainland by a swaying bridge. I don't even know which island in Malaysia this is, or is it not in Malaysia? I don't know. My dreams are always like that...strange details. I can still remember the clear and blue water of the ocean and I can still hear the waves smashing the beach. Zaki and I were crossing the bridge and we reached the island and went to a house. Of course I don't know who's house it is..it was an alien place to me. There we met a family, a pair of parents with a daughter. I cannot remember the face, I don't think she has a face. Anyway, in a second, zaki has already married this girl!! I don't know how this happened, knowing him I don't think he has the heart to do that to me. He was so different, he was not like what I described to be somewhere up there in this post. It's like it's a different man wearing zaki's face. A mean person who doesn't care how I feel. I cried and I cried...maybe I really cried. I always do that, it's not a rare occasion that I scream, I talk and I cry in my sleep. Zaki was always there to comfort me when I do that, snapped me back to reality. My sweet and lovely reality..not like in the dream.

But this time, zaki was quite a distance from me. He had to comfort our second little girl who was crying for milk. It was so hard for me to get back to my real life..the dream was like a reality to me. I panicked, I screamed and I mumbled words that I don't even remember now. With all my strength I tried to open my eyes because I know, this must be dream. My zaki won't do this to me, he's the sweetest guy on earth. I can't...I tried again. I tried and I tried..it was tiring..I was drained. I was beginning to accept it as a reality that I have to face. But no, I don't want to accept it. I had to give it a last try, with all my might. And finally I did...I came back to reality. There was zaki, his eyes shut in a peaceful sleep. I touched his cheek, he opened his eyes asking me what's wrong. I told him about the dream...or maybe we can call it a nightmare. He said no..I will never do that to you. I love you..you are the love of my life, go back to sleep dearie. I looked at the clock..it was half past five in the morning. It was a long dream...

Today I woke up thinking about the dream, wondering what brings myself to have such a dream. It's true that we can't control our dreams but sometimes the dreams somehow relate to our real life. Maybe I am afraid that something like that would happened to me..touch wood..God forbid. I'm back to my sweet normal life. I'm in my oficce...back to my PhD work...there are loads to do. I have a deadline to meet..my presentation is nearing.